i. All gentlemen are equal
- But some may be more equal than others
ii. A gentleman must never divulge the secrets of the Code to non-members
- Includes ladies and un-chivalrous fellows
iii. A gentleman is bound to the Code as he is bound to his title.
iv. These are more guidelines than rules.
v. If Ron Burgundy says it, then it's true.
2. FISCAL FIASCOS
i. A gentleman must never ask for the repayment of a borrowed sum under the amount of five sterling pounds.
- Or an equal amount in another currency.
ii. A gentleman must always pay for his lady companion.
iii. A gentleman must consent to the purchase of at least one “round” when in the proper environment.
iv. A gentleman must never hoard or miser; spend liberally when you can.
-On occasions when the said gentleman has no cash, exceptions are made.
v. A gentleman must never allow a lady to
repay him, any amount.
-Under any circumstances.
vi. A gentleman does not squander.
vii. Cheapness is no excuse for poor quality.
viii. A gentleman always honours his bets.
ix. When the chips are down, there is no going back.
3. KNIGHTS, NOT KNAVES
i. A gentleman must always hold the door open, offer to carry the lady's bags, and in the event of cold weather, offer his coat.
-The last addition is only valid when the lady has no coat of her own;
ii. A gentleman must tip his hat and/or stand when a lady enters the room.
-He should also sheath any weapons.
iii. A gentleman is always polite to ladies, though this does not stop him from swearing when appropriate i.e. during a sporting event or in consequence of anger/pain.
iv. If there are no seats to be had, a gentleman should offer his to the lady in peril.
v. A gentleman greets his fellows with a nod, or a handshake. Hugs are permitted only with long-term friends, and then only a light one.
-”Large” people should not hug anyone for fear of suffocating the recipient.
vi. Women & children first.
4. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
i. A gentleman must have competent knowledge of the government of the day in order to hold his own in a political conversation.
-If you have only limited understanding, at least keep up the pretence of knowledge.
- Gentlemen should try to keep the subject away from politics lest the discussion becomes too heated and uncomfortable.
ii. A gentleman must have competent understanding of the rules of popular sports, in order to hold his own whilst watching said sport.
-Even if said sport is not your Game
-A gentleman must be able to competently play Texas Hold ‘Em, Blackjack and Solitaire.
iii. A gentleman must have visited the Continent on at least one occasion, and more than seven times to the same country to be acknowledged as a Traveller.
-To be counted as Bohemian, one must have spent time in either San Francisco, Paris or Barcelona.
iv. A gentleman must be a connoisseur of fine beverages and of fine cuisine.
-Either the ability to cook without aid of a toaster or a microwave, or having tried many foods qualifies the last addition. See Rule 6.
5. DRESS TO IMPRESS
i. It’s good to stay abreast of the latest trends; a gentleman should remain informed about “what not to wear”.
ii. A gentleman should have a wide selection of ties.
iii. A gentleman should have a pair of shoes for every occasion.
iv. A gentleman should only keep a beard if it is either trimmed properly or he is lost in the wilderness.
-Untrimmed beards or beards trimmed to resemble wizarding folk are unwieldy and unnerving. There are several reasons why barbarians and magick people keep to themselves, and their beards are one of these reasons!
v. A gentleman is always clean.
-T-shirts last one day, jeans last three with a break, or four if they are not dirty and it’s a lazy day. Jumpers last two days with a break, but cardigans do not. Winter coats, jackets last as long as you want them to, though suit jackets last as long as the trousers. The t- shirt rule applies to the shirt.
6. FOOD MATTERS
i. A gentleman must be able to cook and clean to a high standard. He must use the finest ingredients and always cook properly.
-This rule extends to the type of supermarket a gentleman shops in. Tesco, Waitrose and Co-Op are in, but everything else is Out. Sainbury's and Morrison's are out because of their annoying television ads.
ii. When drinking; do not complain about the host’s chosen brand if you have not brought an offering yourself. Recommend, but do not chide.
-The same applies to food.
iii. A gentleman must have a fully stocked larder.
iv. A gentleman must have a wide selection of alcoholic treats. Whiskey, his chosen lager, and vodka/rum are a must. If the gentleman is having a lady companion to his abode for dinner, wine is essential.
v. If a gentleman is having a takeaway from his local
establishment, then he should exploit his “regular” status to full effect
vi. In the coffee shop, there is special etiquette. Should you have a “usual”, being a “regular”, you are the king of the coffee house. Nobody can mock you.
-This only applies to non-chain shops; being familiar with the staff in Starbucks is unacceptable. A gentleman must never be seen to support large corporations.
7. FINAL MUSINGS
i. The following professions are reputable:
Cosmonaut, Ship’s Captain, Knight of the Realm, Lord Protector, Member of Parliament, Journalist/Author, Pilot, Surgeon, Tycoon, Architect, Poet, Arctic Explorer, Artist (includes musicians), Aristocrat, Constable, Sociolite and Guerrilla.
ii. Vintage cars are by far the classiest. A VW Van, 60’s Beatle or Mini will always trump whatever mechanobabble supercar “Top Gear“ comes up with.
-The ultimate in classy is a Panzer Tank or a steam train, though functionality can be limited.
iii. The “lazy day” is a day of rest and detox for the gentleman. This period lasts 24 hours, and includes cutting off contact from his fellows, except by internet and phone.
-You are bound to sleeping, drinking tea and coffee and eating constantly all day, preferably whilst watching a string of movies.
iv. A gentleman should view all world religions, fanatical cults, politicians and global conglomerates with the same universal contempt & extreme prejudice.
8. FINAL MUSINGS (ii)
i. A gentleman does not trust The Corporation.
-A gentleman does not sell out, and he ALWAYS sticks it to The Man.
ii. If a gentleman breaks three or more of the rules of the Code, he must be stripped of his titles and publically flogged.
- The proper process for Breaking A Rule, is clarified thus. If a gentleman breaks 3 rules in the same hour, or three that week, then that counts as Breaking The Rules. If a gentleman slips up once or twice on occaison than he can be forgiven; however, the Breaking of a major Rule on any occaison (for instance, reneging on a deal), is a quick trip down to Ol'Hob's place.
iii. If there is dispute over the interpretation of the rules, or another altercation between Members, then the other Members vote on the issue. If the democratic method results in a hung chamber, then the two rivals must fight to the death.
iv. Gentleman’s Duelling is separate from a normal Duel . The combatants joust in the skies, either in Spitfires or whilst riding a falcon.
-They can either use Ancien Regimé lances, or more modern implements like air-to-air missiles, machine guns or the classic favourite, medieval flails.
v. The highest ranked Gentleman is the Duke. Preceding is the Count, Viscount, Lord, Earl, Knight, Major, Brigadier, Squire and Marquis.
-At sea, the highest rank is Grand Admiral, preceded by Pirate, and Buccaneer.
- The ranks hold only symbolic importance.
vi. Never kill an albatross.
vii. A gentleman is tech-savvy but never geeky.
-Alternatively, a gentleman can be nerdy but not a Gamer.
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