Ban This Filth

So 'cos my parents have abandoned me to go holiday in Cornwall, Sam's existence has devolved into a beery liberal mess of Guardian wit and bad television. First things first, I played poker whilst barbequeing and got a little bit of tea party on the lawn into the mix. I nearly won the poker, but as I learned today, never underestimate the decietful power of women and their ability to bluff. They are truly sirens!

Secondly, I found a wonderful little feature in the Guide today; 12 things The Mail reckonz should be banned (because this filth is making our society into a Broken Britain). Had me giggling for some time. At the same time, I had half an eye on Mission: Impossible II - I'd never seen the end before and I soon realised I hadn't been missing much. The villain, a charicteristically European (Scottish, but America won't know the difference) dude called Scott. He was trying to unleash some crazy virus shit all over the world and then blackmail everybody; Tom Cruise eventually has a 20-minute motorbike chase wherein the only dialogue was the revving of engines; unsurprisingly Tom Cruise had a bigger "motorbike" than Scott. Maybe he was making up for something - guess what?

Then he had a big martial arts fight on the beach and shot him a lot. Real shock, that one! It made Michael Bay-movies seem like emotion fuelled directives. But back to the important things in life. If you don't already buy the Guardian on saturday then a). you need to start doing so and b). then you won't know about the really great short story supplement in this weeks issue. I'm currently devouring The Jester of Astapovo and so far it is a delectable dish. Also, I realised the scary power of the conservative press here in Britain. Polls show that two thirds of people would support a general election before Christmas; such thing would not change anything as the Tories would want constitutional reform even less than Labour; for the last two centuries they've maintained the two party status quo and we'd be naive to think that David Smugface Cameron wants to change that in the slightest. I've stopped having dreams about being violence to said politician, but my hatred is renewed for him because the only thing he seems to do is bleat "election, election!". I also realised the horrid twin-nyness between DC and Piers Morgan, the someone who is possibly more hypocritical than Littlejohn himself (see Daily Mail Dictonary from the link above). He's just as posh, only at least DC doesen't so blatently whore himself out to ITV. If you've got to give Davey C one thing, it's the fact that he has never tried to style himself as "one of us"; he just doesen't mention his mansion/servants/country estate.

Plus I'd be annoyed because it would mean I didn't get to vote for the lovely Liberal Democrats. Any Bill of Rights brought in by a Conservative government would be even more restrictive and binding than the state of flux that rules at the moment. But enough ranting; people are stupid and hypocritical and will always remain so. Mother says "you're so liberal Sam. Just like your grandpa" and although that may sound like an immediate contradiction, it's not. I keep finding little similarities, little points of contact with my late grandfather and it's getting on the uncanny side nowadays; that's not to say I don't enjoy it though.

Bradley out, roger.

P.S. I just saw the latest ad for my favourite kitchen cleaner Cillit Bang and it reminded me to link you to this. Gotta love Barry Scott's dulcet tones.