First Blood

Wow. Isn't this novel?!

I guess this makes me part of the blogosphere. Don't expect anything too fancy mind you, I'm not that tech savvy. Then again, I might just turn out to be the Che Guevara of the blogging world. In just a few years I'll be leading my own revolutionary blogging army, knocking on the doors of the colonial palace. You'll all be first up against the wall when the battle is over. You and David Cameron .

So okay. Let's look at this week's news. Two items came to my attention; firstly, a Conservative MP apparently claimed for his Common's expenses to pay for the upkeep of his moat. I guess it needs a lot of maintainance, if you want it filled with molten lava all day. One mustn't think of what were to happen if the constituents were to get in the keep! God. Then we'd have to listen to the revolting peasants views on everything. And one certainly can't bring oneself down to their level, otherwise we'd all be spilling our semen over crinkled copies of the page 3 from The Sun (much like Jacqui Smith's husband). Perhaps my friend Jono might be able to elaborate slightly better, since he persuaded me to undertake this revision-busting activity.

Secondly, the news that Stormin' Gordon Brown, our Supreme Leader and Emperor of the United Kingdom, is to ditch his suicidally bad career as a politician to pursue his childhood dream of becoming a supermodel. How quaint. Maybe he can get himself in Silvio Berlusconi's cabinet; it seems to be populated with a bunch of half-witted (but admittedly, hot) fools. At least in Italy they do corruption the proper way, not just using a flimsy system to get a nice garden. The mafia can get you a lot more than a flowerbed, friend. They'll make you an offer you can't refuse.

So it seems that not only have Labour (Liarbore) pressed the proverbial red button, but that since all the racist/sexist/narcissist middle-england morons are selfish and will vote for the Conservatives regardless of their aristocratic self-preserving tendencies. The next decade will be a blast.