Rage Against Simon Cowell's Machine

I'm listening to the Chart Show on Radio 1 - it's not something I usually do on a sunday afternoon but this time I have a vested interest. Hopefully - hopefully, Rage Against The Machine's Killing In The Name Of will come out as Christmas No.1, over the X Factor's winning track The Climb, a cover of a Miley Cyrus (the real version of Hannah Montana. I think they're both androids but it doesen't matter anymore) song that's actually still in the charts.

Firstly, for you idiots who haven't heard of Rage - there are no words to decribe how deep your ignorance runs. Joe McElderry, the X Factor winner who's so bland and uninteresting he was probably made from vanilla extract, admitted he hadn't heard of them anymore; but I really didn't expect him to - this is the guy who danced with his mother at one of the most exclusive London nightclubs on the night of his *cough* fixed *cough* victory. Anyway, the song is taken from RATM's debut, eponymous album from 1992. It is one of the best, and most influential albums of the last twenty years and it is just awesome. Seething with anger, hatred, and injustice, alongside spiralling, searing guitar, each of the ten tracks is a damning antitribute to the American Dream. Killing In The Name Of, as the premier single from that album, is one of the most powerful political rock songs ever penned; primarily about the Los Angeles riots of that year, but by itself, it's a damning, flaming, swear-fuelled octane tirade railing against any and every establishment that ever existed. Therefore, as the ultimate revolutionary's anthem, it is the perfect opponent to Simon Cowell and his popstar cloning factory.

The Climb is a different matter. In the beginning, it started out as a Miley Cyrus song. When you're covering tracks written by Disney, you need to start thinking about throwing in the towel. And the horrid reality of it all is that the original, country-western version is better. Sure, it's got mildly uplifting lyrics and builds up to a predictable crescdendo-finale - in a way it's reflective of the X Factor itself. But compared to the supercharged battlecry of Killing In The Name Of, it's a whimpering mouse. It's heart is in the right place - but then again, the same can be said of George W Bush. That's the most I can say about it, because it's boring, and medicated and... well, crap. The X Factor in general is fairly pants; it's like Cowell looked at all the cliches of modern television, multiplied by 100 and mixed them altogether. Seriously, it's ridiculous and logically it should not be popular. Overdressed morons with preselected opinions walk down the stage, to a desk (what do they need that for?! It's not like Cheryl Cole is literate, even if she wanted to take notes) - to the soundtrack of The Omen. Then that announcer from E4 - originally a ripoff of Tom Baker's narration on Little Britain - tells us their names, because we're not smart enough to remember them week-to-week, whilst sounding like your estranged horny uncle. Then Dermot O'Leary stands up in the same suit every week - the fashion rule that forces poor Cole and Minogue to fit into more spectacular dresses each episode apparently doesen't apply to men - he never takes that suit off. And then, for the rest of the programme, there's just this cheap kareoke thing , and each new bland individual is introduced with unflattering closeups in front of an industrial fan.

We actually pay Simon Cowell our own money (through the telephone voting) for him to spoonfeed us terrible music. He says that he started X Factor because the British music industry was in a bad shape; 2005 was a pretty good year in music. We had Franz Ferdinand's second album, Bloc Party's debut, Jack Johnson reached the mainstream and the first album from Editors. Is this what we've been reduced to? Is this our collective musical identity - Cheryl Cole wailing on about how she's going to fight for this love? It genuinely scares the core of my being to think that 18 million people have zero music taste.

I was reading a Mailonline (I was linked, I wouldn't willingly stray into that Tory/Celeb news warzone) article about the singles' battle reaching its climax tonight, and the comments below were just poor. The best was the claim that "we watch the X Factor and vote because we're genuinely interested in furthering the lives of some talented young people" - I'm very bemused that someone thinks ITV's premier cashcow is one huge educational excercise for just those 12 kids. If they really want to help out young people then give that £1.50 that went to the vote, to a charity like Frank or Shelter. Ultimately, the X Factor is democracy - the shit, mobocratic side of democracy. Democracy barely works as it is (Churchill said that "democracy is the worst form of government except when compared to all the other forms of government") - and stuff like I'm A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here might end up damaging real-life politics if people think that the point in casting their vote is to decide who's the best looking MP.

Music should never be a democracy. It is the only place, in our society, where true anarchy reigns. It is the ultimate meritocracy - creativity amplified. Don't like the Top 40? Make your own music. Put it on MySpace, busk in the streets. Go to the club nights at the Manchester Academy, trawl the record shops in the Northern Quarter and find a hidden gem, a rough diamond. Don't buy Susan Boyle's album (which was just announced to be Christmas No 1) because she's ugly and you feel sorry for her, buy it for her music. Music is individual, private - every song has a different meaning and a different sound for everyone. It can't work as a democracy. Therefore, we need a revolution. And Tom Morello and Zac de la Rocha are going to lead it.