Forlorn Hope

Right, so, since my rather feeble naive hope that people might see Gordon Brown as more of a fighter than a wounded stag too weak to strike back, the Tories have basically netted the election. Since the failed rebellion, they've gained at least three points in a recent Sun poll. I'd love to repeat that delicious Simpsons' line, but I'm afraid that I for one, cannot welcome our new right-wing overlords. I'm not flying the red flag here, but a victory for the Conservatives will be a defeat for democracy. Because they won't have won because of superior policies, or for progress, or for the greater good - they'll have won because we don't have anyone else to turn to, which is a pretty sorry choice.

This is the reason why democracy is flawed; because although it gives every citizen a voice, far too many of those citizens take that voice for granted - and misuse it, either with a reactionary vote or through abstaining. It doesen't just boil down to people being stupid, or stupid people being manipulated by the media by the politicians (or vice versa) - it boils down to us accepting that. We don't have to vote for the "next best option". We're not even really meant to vote on a nationwide basis - the whole idea is that we elect an MP so our constituency is represented in Parliament. That doesen't give us any right to vote in a candidate that might affect other constituencies. Why should the choice of one old dear, hobbling down to the polling station in a fit of pearl-clutching fury affect me? We don't have to vote for a reforming government if our area doesen't need reform (though obviously it's better). How can you expect your MP to pay attention to their constituents when you elected them because you liked David Cameron? And how can you whine about underrepresentation when in the same sentence you damn all politicians as being self-serving, fat-cat swines? Disdain breeds disdain.

The other problem with democracy is that, in a modern, post-imperial nation like the UK, there are two many people for it work. Simply, nobody wants exactly the same things. There will never be more than 50% of the population in favour of the government - the other half essentially get no representation, and no voice. That's why the American Revolution kicked off, and if they started a war about it, then we should at least have a demo or two. This mobocracy is fuelled by another problem. There are more stupid idiot-type voters who treat political parties like football clubs than there are people who consider the options and make informed choices. Again, I'm not running on a Lib Dem ticket, but it's clear they're the thinking-man's party. Their policies genuinely make sense - ideas that make you wonder why they're not law already. But only about 40% of the population actually pay any attention to them - even less are swayed enough to vote orange.

So, come May, we'll see a gloriously smug David Cameron, complete with Mary on his arm, gliding into Number Ten - a smiling airbushed Prime Minister in a mock coronation (you might want to note here that Cameron's ancestor was George IV, the son of Queen Victoria) put on by gleefully Union Jack-waving peasants. That's what will happen - because a lot of boorish witch-hunting collaboratory types will vote in the Conservatives on the grounds that they're for "commun sence", and because everyone else won't bother to vote. Even the people who would gladly vote anything anti-Tory won't turn up, because the cynics - either in the dead-forest, flaming-clergy press, or in the slightly more cunning slick graphics of Sky News.

When Barack Obama mentioned that his election was a "victory against those who would choose cynicism and isolation and darkness, those who would doubt us and say we can't do it", (hence "yes we can!") he couldn't have had a better rally call. And that couldn't be more relevant to Britain today. The whole basis of the Conservative party is that they stand in favour of the establishment. They are fundamentally against change and reform and rebirth. David Cameron wants a return to austerity - the economic equivalent of tighening our belts, I suppose. But in tightening our belts, to continue that metaphor - we'll be starving ourselves. Everyone knows that to stimulate an economy you need more investment. The Conservatives' pledge to leave the NHS alone simply means they'll drain state schools and everything else till they run dry - including our gorgeous, blessed BBC.

And indeed the BBC is headed for a world of pain. The hostile media - so overt in its loaded criticisms (half the goddamn press is owned by Rupert Murdoch for christ's sake) and pearl-clutching outrage at stunts they've pulled a million times. It hasn't got the best PR department, though god knows if it was properly funded, someone would be able to conjure up outrage about it. A lot of people would have its bloated, overfed stomach pumped - cut down to size. If you cut the BBC down to the parts that won't compete with anyone else, all you will have left would be Radio Four and Blue Peter. The BBC is brilliant and the Tories only want it gone so that the red press will be happy. Think how many good programmes the Beeb airs - Wallander, Doctor Who, Blue Peter, Spooks, Life on Mars, Ashes to Ashes, The Thick Of It, Only Fools And Horses, Yes Minister, Screenwipe, Survivors, Being Human, Mock The Week, Have I Got News For You, Blood Sweat and Takeaways, every BBC4 documentary ever, Radio 1,2,3 and 4, not to mention the plethora of political shows like Question Time, This Week, Andrew Marr, Newsnight and The Politics Show that no other network even bothers with - and of course, the never failing news network. It is the world's best media outlet and we should be damned proud to spend as much money on it as possible, considering that along with tea, bacon sandwiches and cumberland sausages, it's about one of the only UK exports that isn't made of shit (I'm comparing against smallpox, imperialism, puritanism, slavery, chick lit, etc).

Put that up against ITV - which has Britain's Got Talent!, the X Factor and Martin Clunes' "vehicle" excuse for drama Doc Martin (they actually admit it's just his special way of keeping too famous to go on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here), and there really is no competition. You can hardly blame the Beeb for ITV being crap. Considering the license fee is something like £140 a year, that's a pretty good deal. Oh and iPlayer is free if you can't be bothered getting a tellybox.

Elections affect everybody. And that's why every eligible voter should think a little deeper about the impact their X will make - not only on their lives, or the careers of politicians - but on the lives of every other citizen of the country, and of every citizen of the international community, who feel the effect every time we go chraging off on a misjudged crusade or cause financial collapse in pursuit of greater profit, or when our actions endanger the environmental habitat of millions of people. We've got nothing to lose - and everything to win, and it's in our hands. Here's hoping enough of us make the right decision - whichever party that may lie with.