Storm In A Teacup

So, yeah. Gordon Brown - the guy everyone seems to think is the most incompetent, anti-photogenic and in general, useless Prime Minister ever - put out a pretty kickass PMQ performance yesterday. But this was immediatly overshadowed by Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt's suicidal coup attempt hours later - basically, they emailed all the Labour MP's telling them they needed to have a secret vote on who should be the leader of the country. I mean, that's a pretty piss-poor revolution, especially for the guys who're meant to be the socialists, breaking down class barriers and guillotining the royal family with a blood-stained grin.

On the other hand, the Conservatives, having stopped bothering to hide the fact they'd love to reinstall the feudal hierarchy*, fired the first broadside in their campaign to win back government - but has everyone already forgotten? The massive snowfall across the UK - about a foot deep outside my house - and the subsequent media alarm (SNOW!! The end of the world! Stock up on water and canned food before it's too late! ARGH I'M FREEZING?!?!?!?!) seems to have whitewashed over the start of what should have been a massive publicity campaign. David Cameron spent most of the aforementioned Prime Minister's Questions doing his little war dance about "why don't you call the election already", which surely confirms the suspicion that Brown is not as stupid as some would have us believe. If he was, then he'd have lost the race already. And as the email plotters are swiftly rounded up and silenced (politically, I mean - suggesting the Labour party whips are Stazi enthusiasts might be overstepping the mark a little), the Conservatives are now wading in their own internal quagmire - David Cameron's central aide was found to have been arrested in 2008 for not producing a train ticket, then calling the policeman a wanker. Often referred to as Cameron's "brain", which is altogether slightly disconcerting, he has also been cited as the inspiration for The Thick Of It's character Stewart Pearson, an opposition spin doctor who often uses words like "fractioneering" to spur on his troops.

But although both of these are minor hiccups for either side, Gordon Brown is looking increasingly robust and unlikely to step down before and election. And whilst Labour aren't exactly the cool kids in the proverbial high school of politics, (if you listened to the booing in the clip of PMQ's, then you'll agree with me that our elected representatives act like preschool children), they're certainly the lesser of two evils. Because, like all right-wing parties - and the reason for this is unknown to me - all the Tories' airbrushed policies just seem to want to timewarp the country back to the 13th century, when the population was easily controlled by the Black Plague or through constant, apocolyptic wars with the European monarchies.

*Sorry if I'm taking a biased tone, it's just he's so fucking smug about everything.